According to the DoD (Department of Defense) there are nearly 2 million US military children under the age of 18. That's about 2.6% of the children in the country. Regardless of whether or not I marry a service member and become a military wife, (as many people in my life seem to have decided for me), I will always be a military child. Maybe a better term would be an adult child of a military family. Growing up as a daughter of a Navy Lieutenant Commander, is an experience of childhood different than that of most children.

Aside from uncontrollably arriving 15 minutes early to everything, being the child of a service member shapes you in ways not always apparent until you have the benefit of hindsight. I personally, did not appreciate this difference until we transferred to Spokane after living on base at Dahlgren. I was suddenly surrounded by non-military children and their families. We had lived off base before, but I wasn't old enough to understand and  recognize the differences. Living in Spokane, I noticed simple things, my above-mentioned compulsion for punctuality and my sense of guilt about walking on grass that isn't in a park. Other things were drastically different too, like respect, responsibility, and the sense of community, and not in a good way.


In May of 2009 I had the opportunity to visit Fort Bragg and attend the memorial service, which is a part of All American Week. It was the most time I had spent on any military installation surrounded by military families since I lived on one as a child. I felt more at home there than I had in a long time, yet it was my first time to that Post. The patriotism, love and respect for our country, our service members, and traditions is incredible. Even the youngest children know exactly what to do because their parents understand the importance. I realized just how much I miss being a part of that community even though I spent a great deal of time sending care packages and letters of support to service members, that sense of community and family was still missing.




I've noticed also that my desire to be self-sufficient is not always matched by others, and some of my peers have an expectation that others will take of care of them. This still shocks me because I have been raised with an expectation that "you will take care of yourself" and "if you don't do it, nothing will get done." In my psychology of personality course last term we learned about how our childhood experiences shape our future personality traits. Having a military parent is similar to a number of different “traumatic” childhood experiences because the children sacrifice a great deal. Moving around and going to many different schools was difficult: I lived in six houses in three states and attended eight different schools before graduating from high school. As far as separation is concerned, my father wasn't away a whole lot, at least compared to some of my military friends, only about 6-8 months at a time, but anytime a parent is gone can lead to a child being required to “grow up quickly” and take on a lot more responsibility than many of their peers.“Be strong for Daddy” “Be Mommy’s special helper” “Help Mommy take care of your sister” “Be a good girl for Mommy” All of these are common in military families – I heard them growing up.  I see this in myself even today. I take on everything.  I don’t necessarily think this is pathological, as long as I recognize how much I allow myself to take on.

Now that I am older, I greatly appreciate what being the child of a service member has done for me. The skills my parents taught me about planning and preparing have not only helped me, but helped me assist others. I am now that friend you can call when your car breaks down, or you need someone to help fill your windshield-wiper fluid, or pretty much anything else. I can do it myself or I can (and will) figure it out. Being a female has nothing to do with what I can do, either - I was raised in Girl Scouts and I know I can do whatever I set my mind to. In fact, military spouses have to be able to do everything, because they know during periods of separation like deployments and training everything still has to be done.

Many of my friends grew up and enlisted in the military, so naturally, I supported them as I did my father and his Sailors. I began getting more involved with military support organizations started in response to the War On Terror, so I was supporting people I had never met face to face. They are still family and I treated them as such. In fact, I still keep in touch with many of them and have met a few in person since their safe returns.



Last May (2012), I was contacted by the USO of South Carolina about the volunteer application I submitted during my winter break from school. I was invited to their volunteer training, which I attended, and from that point on I was hooked. The sense of family and community in that little corner of the airport is indescribable, and it is something I look forward to throughout my week. In February, I was recognized for providing 250 hours of volunteer service to the USO and our nation's military. I've found my place. I'll be completing my internship there and hopefully, after graduation I will be able to continue my service to the USO as an employee.




The opportunities to travel, learn first-hand about history and culture, and the people I’ve had to privilege to meet are all the benefits of growing up in a military family.  I can’t imagine growing up any other way. I know my children will be raised with similar expectations regardless of my future spouse's involvement with the military.



April is month of the military child, and the DoD (Department of Defense) will be celebrating the sacrifices made by their youngest Family Members.