I wrote the following for an English class at school during my freshman year, but not just for a grade. Given a choice, my papers throughout all of my courses shared a common theme, which won't surprise those of you who know me, or have read my posts. This particular paper incorporates an experience I will never forget.

Listen to the news long enough and you will hear the numbers: 1,278 - the total number of U.S. Military fatalities in Afghanistan, 422 – U.S. Military fatalities in Afghanistan in 2010 and 20 – U.S. Military fatalities in Afghanistan in April 2010 (iCasualties.org). Have you ever stopped to think about those numbers? They are more than numbers; they are real people with names, families, and friends.

At the age of 20, Specialist Joseph T. Caron, United States Army, is one number in the above statistics, somewhere around the 1,040 mark. Joey deployed to Afghanistan in late 2009 with the 82nd Airborne Division’s 4th Brigade Combat Team, from Fort Bragg, North Carolina. On April 11, 2010, he paid the ultimate price when his patrol detonated an improvised explosive device (IED) in the Arghandab River Valley (Public Affairs Office 82nd Airborne Division).


It’s 3:30 a.m.; my alarm goes off; I jump into my jeans, pull on a t-shirt, and grab a sweatshirt and the bag I packed the night before. On the way out of town, I pick up Ryley and Aaron, as well as my friend’s mother, Lisa. We are heading to Specialist Caron’s memorial service to pay our respects and show support for Joey’s family. The four of us made sure we would arrive in Lakewood, nearly 300 miles away, on time for the scheduled 11:00 a.m. service. Five hours after leaving Spokane, we found the location of the service, as well as a place to change out of our traveling clothes into more appropriate military funeral attire. Once everyone was dressed, we drove to our destination.

Upon arrival, members of the Washington High School Air Force Jr. ROTC (Reserve Officer Training Corps) greeted and directed us to the school’s gym. Fifty, flag bearing Patriot Guardsmen, a group of motorcyclists who attend military funerals to shield families from the interruptions of protestors, flanked the sidewalk. At the end of the path, we entered the dimly lit gym. There were hundreds of people and more filing in behind us. We chose seats on the lower bleachers at the end of the gym farthest from the ceremony. Behind us was a large group of law enforcement officers, all in complete dress uniform. I read the program as we waited.

Joey grew up in Parkland, Washington, a key member of his high school’s varsity wrestling and football teams, a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, an avid angler, as well as an active member at his church. Joey loved his family; his parents Jeff and Tani, older brother Josh and younger sister Cassie are incredibly proud of him. At 16, Joey wrote an essay about what an American Veteran meant to him and expressed his desire to serve his country as well. “I myself plan on enlisting into [sic] the military to contribute my sweat and blood for the United States of America. Our freedom does come at a price, so ‘support our troops; their sacrifice ensures our freedom.’” (Caron).

Perfectly timed footsteps of the Honor Guard echoed throughout the silent gymnasium as they escorted Specialist Joseph T. Caron’s flag covered coffin to the middle of the room. The presentation of the colors followed with the utmost military precision, honor, and respect. An inconceivable amount of emotion swept over me, catching me unprepared. Even though Joey and I never met before he died, it made no matter; he could have been my brother or best friend. He died fighting for my freedom, safety, and everything I believe in as an American. I struggled to recite “The Pledge of Allegiance” through tears, not because I was sad, but struck by the weight of every word: “I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

The memorial continued with a slide show about Joey’s life and statements from his family, friends, teachers, youth pastor, and military superiors, all of whom spoke highly of Joey. In the words of Captain Armstrong, Joey was “always there with a joke when you needed it most and always putting forth 110 percent with fiery intensity; we knew we could depend on him in times when he was needed most” (Public Affairs Office 82nd Airborne Division). Immediately following the memorial, we traveled with the procession of cars to attend the graveside committal service. There are no words to describe the silence during the flag folding for the parents, nor the disruption of silence caused by the mourning sound of bagpipes or the echoing 3-volley gun salute. Finally, as is traditional, a lone bugler playing “Taps” marked the end of the service.

My friends Specialist Kyle Trigg and Specialist Justin Popovich, deployed with the 4th Brigade Combat Team at the same time as Joey; they are both home now, unharmed. The fact that it could easily have been either of their memorials instead humbles me. It was an honor to be present at Specialist Caron’s memorial. I am unbelievably proud of Joey and all of "my" service members. I go out of my way to support each one of them every chance I get. As Joey wrote:
 “It takes a special person to go and put their [sic] life on the line to ensure the freedom of this country. It takes a person who is willing to die for their [sic] family, friends, and other people nationwide to keep them free. Men and women of the armed forces are not just fighting for the present, but also for the future. They are fighting for future generations so they can also enjoy and cherish the freedoms we have today” (Caron).

The next time you listen to the news and hear the numbers, remember any one of them could have been your brother, sister, mother, father, aunt, uncle, best friend, friend or the family of a friend. They each have a name, they each have a family, and someone somewhere misses them dearly. Specialist Caron, I never had the opportunity to meet you, but I will always remember you. Thank you for your service, and may you rest in peace.


Works Cited
Caron, Joseph T. "What Does an American Veteran Mean to Me?" Memorial Service Program for Joseph T. Caron. 2006.
iCasualties.org. Operation Enduring Freedom. 2010. 6 November 2010 <http:>.</http:>
Public Affairs Office 82nd Airborne Division. "82nd Airborne Division Paratrooper Killed in Afghanistan." Memorial Service Program for Joseph T. Caron. Fort Bragg, 13 April 2010.

According to the DoD (Department of Defense) there are nearly 2 million US military children under the age of 18. That's about 2.6% of the children in the country. Regardless of whether or not I marry a service member and become a military wife, (as many people in my life seem to have decided for me), I will always be a military child. Maybe a better term would be an adult child of a military family. Growing up as a daughter of a Navy Lieutenant Commander, is an experience of childhood different than that of most children.

Aside from uncontrollably arriving 15 minutes early to everything, being the child of a service member shapes you in ways not always apparent until you have the benefit of hindsight. I personally, did not appreciate this difference until we transferred to Spokane after living on base at Dahlgren. I was suddenly surrounded by non-military children and their families. We had lived off base before, but I wasn't old enough to understand and  recognize the differences. Living in Spokane, I noticed simple things, my above-mentioned compulsion for punctuality and my sense of guilt about walking on grass that isn't in a park. Other things were drastically different too, like respect, responsibility, and the sense of community, and not in a good way.


In May of 2009 I had the opportunity to visit Fort Bragg and attend the memorial service, which is a part of All American Week. It was the most time I had spent on any military installation surrounded by military families since I lived on one as a child. I felt more at home there than I had in a long time, yet it was my first time to that Post. The patriotism, love and respect for our country, our service members, and traditions is incredible. Even the youngest children know exactly what to do because their parents understand the importance. I realized just how much I miss being a part of that community even though I spent a great deal of time sending care packages and letters of support to service members, that sense of community and family was still missing.




I've noticed also that my desire to be self-sufficient is not always matched by others, and some of my peers have an expectation that others will take of care of them. This still shocks me because I have been raised with an expectation that "you will take care of yourself" and "if you don't do it, nothing will get done." In my psychology of personality course last term we learned about how our childhood experiences shape our future personality traits. Having a military parent is similar to a number of different “traumatic” childhood experiences because the children sacrifice a great deal. Moving around and going to many different schools was difficult: I lived in six houses in three states and attended eight different schools before graduating from high school. As far as separation is concerned, my father wasn't away a whole lot, at least compared to some of my military friends, only about 6-8 months at a time, but anytime a parent is gone can lead to a child being required to “grow up quickly” and take on a lot more responsibility than many of their peers.“Be strong for Daddy” “Be Mommy’s special helper” “Help Mommy take care of your sister” “Be a good girl for Mommy” All of these are common in military families – I heard them growing up.  I see this in myself even today. I take on everything.  I don’t necessarily think this is pathological, as long as I recognize how much I allow myself to take on.

Now that I am older, I greatly appreciate what being the child of a service member has done for me. The skills my parents taught me about planning and preparing have not only helped me, but helped me assist others. I am now that friend you can call when your car breaks down, or you need someone to help fill your windshield-wiper fluid, or pretty much anything else. I can do it myself or I can (and will) figure it out. Being a female has nothing to do with what I can do, either - I was raised in Girl Scouts and I know I can do whatever I set my mind to. In fact, military spouses have to be able to do everything, because they know during periods of separation like deployments and training everything still has to be done.

Many of my friends grew up and enlisted in the military, so naturally, I supported them as I did my father and his Sailors. I began getting more involved with military support organizations started in response to the War On Terror, so I was supporting people I had never met face to face. They are still family and I treated them as such. In fact, I still keep in touch with many of them and have met a few in person since their safe returns.



Last May (2012), I was contacted by the USO of South Carolina about the volunteer application I submitted during my winter break from school. I was invited to their volunteer training, which I attended, and from that point on I was hooked. The sense of family and community in that little corner of the airport is indescribable, and it is something I look forward to throughout my week. In February, I was recognized for providing 250 hours of volunteer service to the USO and our nation's military. I've found my place. I'll be completing my internship there and hopefully, after graduation I will be able to continue my service to the USO as an employee.




The opportunities to travel, learn first-hand about history and culture, and the people I’ve had to privilege to meet are all the benefits of growing up in a military family.  I can’t imagine growing up any other way. I know my children will be raised with similar expectations regardless of my future spouse's involvement with the military.



April is month of the military child, and the DoD (Department of Defense) will be celebrating the sacrifices made by their youngest Family Members.